UJ STUDENT HEALTH AND WELLNESS STUDENT GUIDE 10 “You can live. You can love. You are still you.” “My name is Nozibele Mayaba, I am HIVpositive, and I am still positively me”, these words from HIV activist and author Nozibele Qamngana-Mayaba echoed through our campus Library last year during her powerful dialogue session and book signing event. Her story of diagnosis, acceptance, and ultimately thriving in love and life is one that resonated deeply with our students. In a society where HIV is still often met with stigma and silence, Nozibele’s message was clear, HIV is not a death sentence. Nor is it the end of romantic relationships. As a health professional working closely with students every day, I see how love, sex, and status intersect in real and challenging ways. It’s time we talk openly about dating with HIV because many are already doing it and doing it well. Contrary to outdated beliefs, people living with HIV can and do have healthy, loving, sexually fulfilling relationships. Medical advances like antiretroviral therapy (ART) allow individuals with HIV to live long, normal lives. In fact, with consistent treatment, a person’s viral load can become undetectable, which means the virus is not transmissible to a sexual partner. This is often referred to as U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable). However, emotional challenges remain: When do I tell my partner? How will they react? Can I still have a family? These are real concerns and there are real answers. One of the hardest parts about dating with HIV is the fear of rejection, these were words of personal experiences shared by Ibanomonde Ngema, a guest panelist on our recent HIV podcast recorded on the 24th of July 2025 at the UJ FM studios, titled “Still me ; Living Positive with HIV” , she is a South African HIV activist, storyteller, and global advocate for adolescent girls and young women living with HIV, and she was born with HIV. Disclosure is a deeply personal decision. Ideally, it should happen before becoming sexually active or emotionally invested. But it also requires a safe environment and mutual respect. And I am in no way suggesting you should disclose to just anyone showing interest in you. At the Centre for Student Health & Wellness, we encourage students living with HIV to seek counseling support in navigating disclosure, through our ‘Care and Support’ services, were one on one sessions can be had with a professional, and group sessions are also available. Rejection can be painful, but the right partner will respond with empathy, not judgment. LOVE, SEX and STATUS: DATING WITH HIV
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